Thursday, July 16, 2009
NEW LOCATION
I moved on to WordPress and nearly forgot about the first locale. Please visit our new location at http://muslimahmoneymatters.wordpress.com.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Financial Planning Can Be Romantic?
In 'Oops!' I said 'inshaAllah' and the Budgeting Series never happened - whether specifically through distraction, neglect, procrastination, or writer's block...take your pick - but I hope y'all will forgive me for dropping the ball. Perhaps the fact that I did "drop" a baby boy on February 5th, alhamduliLlah, will make the interlude more understandable :)
Budgeting and baby...well, it was our effort to budget for baby that reminded me of why I hate budgeting. Our budget never works. There always seems to be something that comes up, some wrench in the plan or something we forget to factor in. We just end up winging it and soooo...here I am writing to you, knowing that in striving to strengthen others, I strengthen myself as well.
And so, enter The Family CFO: The Couple's Business Plan for Love and Money by Mary Claire Allvine and Christine Larson ISBN 1-57954-791-5. It's been on my shelf; what we have implemented has been beneficial. Bringing forth our fourth child and the reality that our oldest (12 years old) will be seeking to flee the nest within but a handful of years scared us back into the we've GOT to get it together! mode. Know what I mean?
The point of the book is that financial planning can be romantic because the numbers are the means to making your dreams come true. Approaching planning as a business would and using such terminology separates the dollar from our issues, and allows the process to be truly constructive. The Family CFO process helps get the common sense part of financial management right and provides a tool to use in decision making. What I really like the fact that there's no demand to track every cent involved :-)
Ready to read and grow? If you're interested in reading with me, shout-out at muslimahmoneymatters@gmail.com and let me know. I'm looking to start March 21st...that's enough time for everyone to borrow/buy their copies, yeah?
Budgeting and baby...well, it was our effort to budget for baby that reminded me of why I hate budgeting. Our budget never works. There always seems to be something that comes up, some wrench in the plan or something we forget to factor in. We just end up winging it and soooo...here I am writing to you, knowing that in striving to strengthen others, I strengthen myself as well.
And so, enter The Family CFO: The Couple's Business Plan for Love and Money by Mary Claire Allvine and Christine Larson ISBN 1-57954-791-5. It's been on my shelf; what we have implemented has been beneficial. Bringing forth our fourth child and the reality that our oldest (12 years old) will be seeking to flee the nest within but a handful of years scared us back into the we've GOT to get it together! mode. Know what I mean?
The point of the book is that financial planning can be romantic because the numbers are the means to making your dreams come true. Approaching planning as a business would and using such terminology separates the dollar from our issues, and allows the process to be truly constructive. The Family CFO process helps get the common sense part of financial management right and provides a tool to use in decision making. What I really like the fact that there's no demand to track every cent involved :-)
Ready to read and grow? If you're interested in reading with me, shout-out at muslimahmoneymatters@gmail.com and let me know. I'm looking to start March 21st...that's enough time for everyone to borrow/buy their copies, yeah?
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Oops!!
As-salaamu 'alaykum Ladies...I meant that the Budgeting Series would start next Tuesday, not this Tuesday. This will be a bi-weekly series, inshaAllah.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Thursday Heart-to-Heart: "Because I Wanted To..."
Today (well, by the time I post this it'd be "On Monday..") my daughter said something to me that completely blew me away. Not because the retort was even remotely original or the accompanying attitude unprecedented for a preteen, but because I looked at her and saw myself. Aren't children such wonderful mirrors??
Her incredibly honest and bold-faced answer to my questioning was, "Because I wanted to" with absolutely no remorse, no trepidation, no fear or concern about the right and wrong of it, without a care about her transgression from how things were supposed to go. It was like this is how it is, now deal with it. What makes it worse is that she traded meeting obligations and what's going to make her happier in the long-term for short-term "fun."
Can you hear the end of Surat al-A'laa like I do right now?
Anyway, her answer stopped me short. Wait, to be more accurate, I chose to stop short at it...and go back to my office and figure the best way to unlock her fitrah. Yellin at her wasn't gonna do it. Coming up with creative discipline just ends up being more work on my part. And it dawned on me...how do I unlock my own fitrah regarding what is my own best course no matter how I feel?
On the day I'm editing this (Thursday), I can say that I allowed one small success in this vein - I skipped a trip to spend at the coffee shop and settled for tea at home instead. But on Monday, when this happened??? I went with what I wanted versus what was best for myself, wallet, and household. In the spirit of muhasabah, I admit that I regularly practice going with what I want versus what is better.
"Because I wanted to" deserves reflection, I think. When it comes to money matters, where does "Because I wanted to" come into play for you? How do you feel after the fact?
Her incredibly honest and bold-faced answer to my questioning was, "Because I wanted to" with absolutely no remorse, no trepidation, no fear or concern about the right and wrong of it, without a care about her transgression from how things were supposed to go. It was like this is how it is, now deal with it. What makes it worse is that she traded meeting obligations and what's going to make her happier in the long-term for short-term "fun."
Can you hear the end of Surat al-A'laa like I do right now?
Anyway, her answer stopped me short. Wait, to be more accurate, I chose to stop short at it...and go back to my office and figure the best way to unlock her fitrah. Yellin at her wasn't gonna do it. Coming up with creative discipline just ends up being more work on my part. And it dawned on me...how do I unlock my own fitrah regarding what is my own best course no matter how I feel?
On the day I'm editing this (Thursday), I can say that I allowed one small success in this vein - I skipped a trip to spend at the coffee shop and settled for tea at home instead. But on Monday, when this happened??? I went with what I wanted versus what was best for myself, wallet, and household. In the spirit of muhasabah, I admit that I regularly practice going with what I want versus what is better.
"Because I wanted to" deserves reflection, I think. When it comes to money matters, where does "Because I wanted to" come into play for you? How do you feel after the fact?
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Budgeting As Applied Taqwa
A delightful sister, dear friend, and fellow enterprising wife-mom-homemaker of 10+ years asked me recently, "Just what is a budget and how does it work? How am I supposed to do it?"
I smiled. Isn't b-u-d-g-e-t the original "four-letter word?" Even more honestly, do I even budget?
Let me tell you, back in my single days while employed as a patient account representative in a medical establishment, I was aaalll over the numbers, okay? I even considered going into accounting and becoming a professional bean counter :) Of course, I'd take those skills and apply them to my own affairs. Why vend what you don't expend on your own behalf, right?
Then I got married. Ya Rabb, I tried. But staying on top of another individual's money madness, hangups, drama, biases, and habits as well as my own proved to be more contentious an endeavor than peaceful because it all played out in how we planned (budgeted) or spent.
So I gave up, I confess. And therein lies a major mechanism of our financial slide, I'm convinced. The truth is clear: the purpose of a budget is to be conscious of how we're intending to manage the money entrusted to us by Ar-Razaaq. It's intention, it's plan, it's discipline. Think of it as applied taqwa, involving the heart and the hand.
I leave you to marinate on that one while I prepare the Budgeting Series, starting next Tuesday, bi-ithniLlah.
Stay tuned...
I smiled. Isn't b-u-d-g-e-t the original "four-letter word?" Even more honestly, do I even budget?
Let me tell you, back in my single days while employed as a patient account representative in a medical establishment, I was aaalll over the numbers, okay? I even considered going into accounting and becoming a professional bean counter :) Of course, I'd take those skills and apply them to my own affairs. Why vend what you don't expend on your own behalf, right?
Then I got married. Ya Rabb, I tried. But staying on top of another individual's money madness, hangups, drama, biases, and habits as well as my own proved to be more contentious an endeavor than peaceful because it all played out in how we planned (budgeted) or spent.
So I gave up, I confess. And therein lies a major mechanism of our financial slide, I'm convinced. The truth is clear: the purpose of a budget is to be conscious of how we're intending to manage the money entrusted to us by Ar-Razaaq. It's intention, it's plan, it's discipline. Think of it as applied taqwa, involving the heart and the hand.
I leave you to marinate on that one while I prepare the Budgeting Series, starting next Tuesday, bi-ithniLlah.
Stay tuned...
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Thursday Heart-to-Heart: Waiting On Payday...
What a phrase it is, "waiting on payday." Heck, more than a phrase, it's often a way of life. I can't have x until payday...I can't do y until payday...I won't have enough z until payday...I won't be straight until payday...I can't handle my bidniz until payday...
The problem with waiting on payday, of course, is that today is lost. The focus is on what is not instead of what is. And the mantra becomes one of limitation rather than empowerment.
And the waiting...doesn't it take the joy away? I've noticed that while waiting on payday, I'm less likely to even take the kids out to play ball, for example...less likely to give the house a deep (or even passing) clean...less likely to 'show up for life,' really...less likely to give from being too fixated on when I can get.
For those familiar with this well-worn path, what are your tips for getting off and avoiding getting back on??? Post away...or email me at muslimahmoneymatters@gmail.com.
The problem with waiting on payday, of course, is that today is lost. The focus is on what is not instead of what is. And the mantra becomes one of limitation rather than empowerment.
And the waiting...doesn't it take the joy away? I've noticed that while waiting on payday, I'm less likely to even take the kids out to play ball, for example...less likely to give the house a deep (or even passing) clean...less likely to 'show up for life,' really...less likely to give from being too fixated on when I can get.
For those familiar with this well-worn path, what are your tips for getting off and avoiding getting back on??? Post away...or email me at muslimahmoneymatters@gmail.com.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Thursday Heart-to-Heart: How do you debt?
For those who are fasting on this Thursday, may Allah ta'ala accept your fast, amin. Fasting or not, all of our hearts can bear to ask what are my debting ways?
Coming from the premise that what we do in one area of life is reflected in others, I propose that chronic financial debt is but one manifestation of a pervasive habit in life. What is the habit? It's the habit of creating expectations in self and others without fulfilling them.
Most of have read or heard or recited out of surat al-maa'idah, "...fulfill all promises (contracts/obligations)," but how holistically applied is it? Perhaps you've heard or read the narration in which Prophet Muhammad (salAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam) warns about the three signs of hypocrisy and all of them pertain to withholding fulfillment of expectations!
Again, I'm talking about creating expectations and failing to fulfill them in whole or even in part or on time.
Think of it this way - would you call yourself a tease? A bad one at that, who barely if ever comes through? Maybe an unintentional one who, due to circumstances beyond control, find yourself in this position? Maybe a negligent one who means well but gets distracted and off track? Maybe a scaredycat, whose fears run up and outstrip the intention or ambition that prompted creating the expectation in the first place?
Stop with the questions already!, you say, as I ask another: how does all this sit with you? Are you getting defensive? Or are you like there's nothing I could say even if I wanted to?
There is light at the end of this tunnel, Sisters. There is a way to stop debting TODAY...and noooo, I'm not smoking something :)
There are several aspects to debt, the debt accumulation itself and all that supports it in lifestyle and on spiritual/emotional terms. Trust me, I know. I'm targeting the habit behind the debt right now and am saying this: think of the full range of debting you practice and find one manifestation you can stop, cold turkey, for TODAY. Be willing to hold on to this fast TODAY and realize that I'm talking only about TODAY. And it could be anything, aaaanything.
Just do it as an experiment. See how you feel and what you find. I want all of us to end today being able to say "TODAY, I actively choose to stop propagating the debt-ridden life."
Here's what I'm doing inshaAllah: TODAY, I chose to fast being out of touch with a certain primary family member who I chronically ignore, astaghfiruLlah, who has been waiting on me to call.
What about you?
Post nice here :) then really let me have it on: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/almuflihaat/ . If you email me at muslimahmoneymatters@gmail.com , I reserve the right to share your comment in whole or in part in any MuslimahMoneyMatters forum without your full identification.
Coming from the premise that what we do in one area of life is reflected in others, I propose that chronic financial debt is but one manifestation of a pervasive habit in life. What is the habit? It's the habit of creating expectations in self and others without fulfilling them.
Most of have read or heard or recited out of surat al-maa'idah, "...fulfill all promises (contracts/obligations)," but how holistically applied is it? Perhaps you've heard or read the narration in which Prophet Muhammad (salAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam) warns about the three signs of hypocrisy and all of them pertain to withholding fulfillment of expectations!
Again, I'm talking about creating expectations and failing to fulfill them in whole or even in part or on time.
Think of it this way - would you call yourself a tease? A bad one at that, who barely if ever comes through? Maybe an unintentional one who, due to circumstances beyond control, find yourself in this position? Maybe a negligent one who means well but gets distracted and off track? Maybe a scaredycat, whose fears run up and outstrip the intention or ambition that prompted creating the expectation in the first place?
Stop with the questions already!, you say, as I ask another: how does all this sit with you? Are you getting defensive? Or are you like there's nothing I could say even if I wanted to?
There is light at the end of this tunnel, Sisters. There is a way to stop debting TODAY...and noooo, I'm not smoking something :)
There are several aspects to debt, the debt accumulation itself and all that supports it in lifestyle and on spiritual/emotional terms. Trust me, I know. I'm targeting the habit behind the debt right now and am saying this: think of the full range of debting you practice and find one manifestation you can stop, cold turkey, for TODAY. Be willing to hold on to this fast TODAY and realize that I'm talking only about TODAY. And it could be anything, aaaanything.
Just do it as an experiment. See how you feel and what you find. I want all of us to end today being able to say "TODAY, I actively choose to stop propagating the debt-ridden life."
Here's what I'm doing inshaAllah: TODAY, I chose to fast being out of touch with a certain primary family member who I chronically ignore, astaghfiruLlah, who has been waiting on me to call.
What about you?
Post nice here :) then really let me have it on: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/almuflihaat/ . If you email me at muslimahmoneymatters@gmail.com , I reserve the right to share your comment in whole or in part in any MuslimahMoneyMatters forum without your full identification.
Oh, if you're getting this after Thursday, don't sweat it. This kind of fast is good anyday, you can join the e-group anytime, and the inbox is open.
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